The Next Level
Monday, July 14, 2003
I'm back!

I shall post more in the near future but if anyone still reads this silly site... then yes I am back and my silence is no longer!

I will be posting much more frequently.

Sunday, June 16, 2002
Welp... my posts get further and further apart.. I used to try to update weekly.. lol....

Life is busy as always...

I've had time to contemplate my life though... and feel unhappy with my current station in life... I am stuck in my parent's home still and hoping to move out soon.

besides that not much else up...


Monday, December 17, 2001
Merry Christmas everyone....

everyone is extremely busy despite the lack of snow and cold weather on the east coast and in the lovely state of New Jersey.

Times are a changing... the world has literally shifted since i last posted.... a mere 4 days before the most tragic day in my life thus far... fortunately none of my beloved that I am aware of were in the situation in NYC.



Friday, September 07, 2001
Wow... I haven't posted in like 6 months......

Life has changed big time for me. I no longer work for CompUSA thank goodness! I am now a bank teller with Commerce Bank: America's Most Convenient Bank. It's a dandy job and I have lots of great things like a cell phone and the money to be able to upgrade my computer some... more RAM and a new Hard drive makes my computer happy!

Of course my cdrom drive dies in the midst of all these upgrades... I'll have to buy a 20 dollar one next paycheck

welp... I don't think anyone reads this page anymore.. oh well

if someone does please email me!

Links above!


Tuesday, April 17, 2001

Why is it always a drama? It's like being stuck in one big soap opera... just when you think things are starting to work out for the best.. you continue to get shot down and pummeled.

It's so frustrating. I don't know why I even try to care for people anymore.. maybe i should just hide in a shell or something. If i could just slip away.. or fade out.. it would be wonderful...

Everything I ever worked on is just shot down the tubes.... destroyed....

and it hurts

like nothing has ever hurt before.....

good night...


Friday, March 23, 2001
Jeremy...that was awsesome to hear...thankyou soo much for your inspirational story that reminded me to keep leaning on God even when i feel blah..and blick. The question...What are you capable of? great to remind me to keep on keepin on even when it is really tough like right now. Thanks jeremy...and to those out there is cyber land...DON'T GIVE UP GOD IS BEHIND YOU ALL THE WAY!!!

Peace in Christ

Monday, February 26, 2001
What am I capable of?

I found this inspirational question in guidepost magazine today.

What are you capable of?


Wednesday, February 21, 2001
Well... it's been a while since I posted so here i am sitting at the compy once again. I've travelled to Pittsburgh since my last post, to see my grandmother's remains buried. She died Feb 15. Life been kind of emotional for me, but I keep praying. Tomorrow I go back to work. If anyone wants to assist me i am trying to write yet another song..... every time i try to compose music.. i end up abandoning it like 2/3 of the way through....

my last song actually never made it to be performed...

oh well

it's still there

that's about it for me...


Thursday, February 15, 2001
I guess Moe, you will now know that there are other eyes that up at night worry just kind of like you do.. Every night for about a year, I would lose sleep over what was happening to me, and everything that was going on in my life.

I would pray to God, and ask him for some simple help in my life to erase my worries, to give him everything in my life up to him and work to not have so much pain that I have been going through.

"BUT" there always seem to be one of these in everyone's life isn't there? :-) He is getting me ready for something huge in my life, not sure about what yet.. but he building me brick by brick, layering the foundation.

I started noticing the phenomenom about 2-3 years ago, when he was telling me that I need to make a change, a move from Portland, Vancouver Washington area back to what I call my childhood home of Lynden..

He built me up with Shalom Center, then I met Moe, and other friends there. Then things went haywire there, and he taught me some Golden lessons there. Then in my life sickness befell me for about a year, and he taught me how to deal with my prideful, bullish ways when I would not listen to what he was telling me to slow down or I was going to slowly kill myself with my disease (diabetic complications).

Then I came upon being able to help other through my experiences, and also trying to help friends.

Well I now have come up with a new problem that I am facing now which is trying to be someone I am not, a person who is analytical, or being someone's psychologist. I guess it stems from the fact that the way I deal with pain is to find a solution to the problem, so that I do not have to face it.

"BUT" God is working with me to teach me new things and now I am listening, sometimes not in the right places, but I try..

God Works in Wonderful AND mysterious ways..


Monday, February 12, 2001
once again any thoughts can be sent to moe's email box...heck it might entertain me during the wee hours of the morn.

HHHeeeellllooo..everyone out there in cyber land and welcome to Moes sleepless night...ha ha ha. I couldn't sleep...when my eyes were open i was horribly tired and when they were closed the movies kept rolling and i had to watch cause well i have mighty important things to figure out in those movies. I am sure i am not alone in this thought...why do our brains torture us? Anyone else out there a compusive worrier or prehaps just a stressful time worrier? aaaahhh...good then i am not alone which brings me to my point of this post God dwells within in us and so when we suffer God suffers too. The God I know is up int the wee hours of the morning worrying when i am up...isn't that great so i am never alone. I was laughing way earlier tonight at the fact that one of the four noble truths is suffering in Buddhism. Imagine that...ha ha ha...suffering leads us closer to our higher power. I have met some pretty incrediable people in the past three years at college and let me tell you behind each incrediable person lies a story of suffering. Guess what i know why they are still alive here today despite their suffering cause they have found something manificent to sustain them during those times of trial just like i have. I have found a strength in God that I see everyday in the people that love and support me. Even when i no longer pray God is there in others...i can't hide...and that is comforting to know i never have to face my darkest enemies by myself. Praise God everyone!!!!...don't give up. :)

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